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Lusting over the calm waters of the lagos lagoon

I am here again! Oh how I hate to confess my weakness before a vast and widely informed audience, how I also hate to admit my gullible interests in matters that deal with businesses and money related ventures. Right from the days of growing up, I’ve always been the one always accused on having series of schemes and plots to cunningly make people especially greedy folks also, to part with their money. Yeah? Now holl it dia!  I dare say, don’t judge, and don’t cast a stone yet. Let’s admit, we’ve all had a fair or unfair share of this greed menu, that desire to always have more and more of what you cannot be tired of having.

After reading Tafa Osisiyes’s Wanderlust, I was tempted to write my own opinion as regards what he was actually taking about- the pursuit of a desire one has long been nursing ! Yea, we all have some secret dreams, fantasies and ideas we all look forward to, but I guess I had to admit that I was one of those who was infected with the Wanderlust. Chasing what you desire at the expense of your mental and physical energy

I’ve been a keen watcher of events that always relate to numbers, statistics and in-depth analytical details of events happening either in orderly fashion, by inordinate coincidence or organised randomness. Now  Someone is already wandering if Anslem is  veering off onto mathematical philosophy—Well, not really but if you allow me, I can give a whole sermon or even write best sellers on how I tried making money by all means when I  had the most urge and plans, but that was then, this is now,. What a difference, the two sides of the coin do have a lesson in store for me though.

Lest I forget, during my undergraduate days, I had always wondered why I was always being broke, with a monthly allawee of N20,000 from my parents, I discovered that , it wasn’t enough because personally, I do have PRE, my own term for PERSONAL RECURRENT EXPENDITURES. So while I service my fridge (Beer allowance), refill my 12.5Kg Gas cylinder, change my wardrobe a little with say two shirts and a trouser pant, I soon observed that I’d soon graduate into the real word, the real universe –just like my lay reader in church at Eket used to say, the cyclical trend that I was following, I hated waiting till the end of the month till I had cash credited into my account. It was then I started asking questions, why can’t I have a little business in my little school environment, who says I can’t build my business empire as a student. With some good friends around, we soon launched a softsell MAG within the campus and voila! We became instant celebrities. But in my quiet moments, I would wander what joy it would be, what it looked like to earn a monthly pay as a graduate.

Fast forward to 2010, I had so much fun in the North as a Youth Corper that I never had the intention of coming back to Port Harcourt! There was where I started chasing all sort of business ideas, I travelled to wherever business came calling, in February, I was In Jos with Ajala A fellow Youth Corper to supply plywood, Next was in March –Zaria, to supply printing papers to one of these lousy Microfinance Banks, till date they still owe me some fractions of 2 x 10 raised to power 5. In July, I and Aithey another hustler from Kaduna travelled down to Minna to pursue another business in computer and office stationeries also. From there again, in August, I made a three day trip from Uyo through Kano to Sokoto, I had to break the long journey to afford me the luxury of sneaking in to attend a little emergency briefing by CLO and ZI!.  Voom! Live in Sokoto, I had another business deal that took me to Kebbi State , this time, it was on my Younger Sister’s behalf, that journey taught me a huge lesson, that in business, integrity matters more than anything else, it was the last optional measure of your reputation and business worth when matters go over the bar. Nneka, my immediate younger sister had paid N65, 000 to a gold dealer in Sokoto, and called me to go and get it for her, on getting there, the man, quite advanced in age, asked me to show my ID card and my sister’s messages on my phone. That was all the confirmation he needed, so I asked Nneka, have you met this Mallam Isyaku before? She said no!  then I enquired further; so how come you trusted him with such huge amount of money, her answer came rather like a shock, “ that when Hausa men ,the good and upright ones say yes, they mean yes to their last breath, but according to her, her friends Oghenekevwe and Hassana introduced her to the man! INTEGRITY! You can’t try that in some Nigerian cities across the Niger, You’d just die of heart ache, although I’m not trying to debase any tribe here but that’s the plain truth.

So after the whole era of running and chasing business deals, I returned to my first objective position that same way a hunter takes his time and aims at a choosen target most likely a game, same way every aspiring young business man and entrepreneur needs to have focus about what he or she truly wants out of his life and business.

Now currently in Lagos, I left Abuja, and finally returned. But the dreams of the past are not tallying with the harsh realities of today, I wake up, eat, hurriedly knot my tie, iron my clothes, brush my teeth, polish my shoes, arrange files, move with my iPod, iGadgets and my pdf reader, plus my mobile notebook and head to the office. There in the office, I face same harsh and sometimes lovey dovey sort of comments from clients, make rapid presentations and head off to attend a press conference somewhere as the “Lord Of The Office “directs.

Reality check again beams on my countenance as my neighbours and their kids echo e’kaaboo o! In Yoruba meaning welcome, I’ve made it a ritual of buying biscuits for them and sometimes candy..But errrhm,, this sacrifice is costing me N600 per week! How do I stop it and not earn a bad name from the kids calling me “Wicked and stingy uncle”? How? Next? My nosy neighbour comes knocking at my door, Zili oh, person bin find you come o!  and then goes on and on with litany of complaints from the next door neighbour.

My night watch man, Umar has formed the habit of getting me kilishi every Friday when his brothers meet up with him at the Obalende Mosque, Harriet my flat mate’s ***mate keeps asking me when and if I’d like to get laid that she can arrange a gal for me and when I’d like to obtain that Masters form from Lagos business School! Haba! She keeps questioning why a sane young man would deliberately decide to keep sex till marriage, and my answer to her last week remains

“Something’s are of better value when waited for’!

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