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Hello Ladies! Today I’d be sharing a rant a friend of mine shared. She’s quite vocal and I thought it wise to share. Happy reading.

Dear Husband

Dear Husband

Be all these as they may, there is a very SLIM chance that I would accept an open monogamous marriage. Slim or fat, chance  is chance😊. If this happens, some very strict rules and conditions will apply. These strict rules and conditions all boil
down to me being the priority. The side babes will only be permitted to have my “left overs”.
Sex: Let’s say you’ve got the strength to go on for 5 hours and I’m ok with 4:55mins, then the side chick may have you  for the rest 5mins left of your strength. Although I will suggest you use the 5mins to make yourself a cup of coffee, or  get yourself a glass of chilled juice… if you ask me.
Money: While we may have a joint account for basic needs such as rent or mortgage, kids’ upkeep and tuition, feeding, and just the usual everyday expenses; the rest will be OYO. I wouldn’t want you to spend my hard earned money on a side  chick in the guise of “my wife’s money is my money”. While we are at that, the rule about me being the priority still  applies; the side chick only gets that part of YOUR money that I don’t want.

Assets: We will have a JOINT OWNERSHIP contract for all our assets. Meaning; those assets cannot be willed by either of  us. We both own the assets and have equal rights to the asset. In the event of death of either of us, the next surviving  person becomes the sole owner. I have heard of cases where side chicks crossed their boundaries, got pregnant and tried to promote themselves to wives by  force. Some of them go as far as wanting to claim ownership of properties they never worked for. Therefore, I will use the
law to protect myself against such. Joint ownership it is!

Attention: Outside your work time which I will be fully aware of; the rest of your time will be spent on I and the kids. The side chick will only have you when I and the kids get bored of having you around. Again, if you ask me, I’ll suggest
you you utilize such time in reading books, having some alone time, and catching up on all backlogs.

Other things: For other things I might have forgotten to list, the rules remain same, which is; the side babe only have  my “left overs”. I remain the priority at all times.
Your loyalty is mine. I have you as a right, while the side chick has you as a privilege, a privilege that remains at my  own discretion to disburse. One last thing before I forget, same rules applies to me; the side gents can always have your “left overs”.😉… You didn’t  think I was gonna miss that bit, did you? Are these rules and conditions realistically practical? Possibly. Let’s see how it goes.
Yours faithfully,
Future wife


Credits: Nkechi Bianze